I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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