Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
