She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
