Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
