It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
the raccoons are back...
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