don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
