I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize