so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
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Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I licked your asshole in confidence.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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