He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
im about as happy as oj after his trial
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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