i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We had sex on a dog bed..
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
