I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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