it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
