I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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