Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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