it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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