i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
