Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize