I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
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