he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
