haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
