Kareoke will never be a sober sport
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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