I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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