Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
