you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
