Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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