Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
