Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
