So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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