The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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