5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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