He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
did i just pee glitter
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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