Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
