it wasn't lemon gatorade
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
