East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
