You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
