Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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