and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Dick very happy bro
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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