school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
