Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
