I cockslap morals
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I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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