Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
