I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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