girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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