You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
