look no pants
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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