He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
