you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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