he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you win again, gameday.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
