Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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