Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
