The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
