their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
