At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
