How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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