Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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