im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
