Nicole vs. Life
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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