I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
