dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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