my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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