your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
