I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
