Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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