It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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