Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
May the power of my ass compel you!!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize