that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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