His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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