Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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